The bully within

Were you bullied as a kid? I'm asked that often. I'm not really sure why. I know my dad was. I know my best friend was along with many others, but I myself was never directly bullied. Instead I watched in silence as others were attacked. Empathy would surge through my veins but never with enough courage to help. I internalized what I saw shared in the shame and tears, all the while doing my best to blend in so as not to be the next target. I succeeded. I was never bullied by another. Over the years though I became my own worst enemy. Using the cruel words of others I have bullied myself to the edge. Relentless in his criticism, ruthless with his words the bully within has cut me down again and again draining me of my worth and self compassion. I just want it to stop. I just want the bully to go away.