I'm sorry

I know that I'll rip apart lives and redefine them. I know the pain I'll cause, the anger and hatred I'll raise, the deep wounds of sorrow I'll inflict all against my very nature; against the life I have always lived. But I can't go on like this: my mind won't stop, the future won't heal it. I know no matter how many words I say or write no one will ever understand. I don't even understand. I'm sorry.