Good-bye Mom

Five years ago my mother died.

I can still hear her last laboured breath 
and the silent relief that followed.

She had long been lost in a fog of dementia
Speaking absent words from distorted thoughts,
and her frustration with cancer's constant pain 
had left her miserable with life and all around her.

She was not who she once was,
those last weeks and months;
no longer my confidant
no longer my friend.
She was gone.

I never wanted to admit it;
that I never got the chance to say goodbye 

when it mattered most.

But I'm ready now.

Good-bye Mom

I know you loved me and were always proud.