I can't explain my silence

 

I can't explain my silence

for fear you will think less of me.

By lowering my mask,

the mask I've worn so faithfully 

the mask you see as me,

you won't see the truth

rather a convenient excuse.

You'll think I'm abdicating all responsibility,

heaping all the stress on you,

blaming my disease

so I can live carefree,

without consequence

when in fact 

I'm protecting you 

from the constant threat of suicide,

a burden too cruel to share. 

I want to help

do all that I can,

I just can't explain my silence.