Where am I now

  

You always told me I was important to you. You complimented my words and made sure I knew you were sincere. You shared my dreams You inspired me to continue. You were my confidence. My promise. Where am I now?

I can't grieve

  

One devastating side effect of depression medication (at least for me) is the inability to cry. Sorrow becomes hollow. Grief meaningless. When I think of my friend I wish I could mourn him properly instead of feeling numb.

 

I miss you.

  

I miss you. I mourn my loss. I wish I could cry to release my sorrow. I wish I had tears  to express my grief. I feel so very much alone.

Listen to music

 

Listen to music purposefully not as background noise Listen to each note Shut your eyes and lose yourself in the melody and slip away from depression if only for a moment.

Triggered

The other day I was triggered. In an instant my mind was reeling My purpose was reduced to a single thought. There was no other option. In the moment the best strategy  was to write it down, to take deep breaths and write it down. The first draft was terrible But it gave me the pause I needed  and with each rewrite I stepped further back. until I had gained enough space to stay safe.

Thank you

 

You don't know it now but your future self  will thank you. Stay safe

It's a curse

It's a curse to be inspired to write words that no one will ever read.